Christmas Is A Time To Let Go

Every year I make an attempt at Christmas traditions, “holiday” traditions, “winter” traditions. Every year I give up, I give in, I give a lot of energy to it but I try to give a little less than the year before. Because what I really need to do is to let go.

If everyone around me, if family wanted “tradition”, it would happen. It would not be difficult. And when I think back about the traditions I participated in as a child, there were good times but it was not a good fit and became more and more difficult and tight as I grew older. I wanted to try to give my children some “tradition” but my greater family continued on many journeys and we just don’t converge. And though I tried, I was not able to be the glue.

What I have been able to give my children is something different than extended family. We listen to each other. We communicate what we want and need and ask each other what each wants and needs. It doesn’t always work but it leaves it open to try and try again. And when it’s good, it’s great! It requires me letting go of images of what it should look like, what tradition is supposed to be, in order to feel the humanity of my family and to listen to myself.

I thought I had to work hard at everything to make it work. But it was just hard work. I need to leave the opportunity open for us to make our choices to be together. And to listen to my extended family making the choice not to be together. It’s ok. We are only related by biology. It isn’t enough. I definitely would like to see them all together sometime. It may never happen again. I can live with it.

Still out here on this journey learning what keeps humans together without being duty bound.

Although this is cloaked in sadness, anger is a lot less, and I believe it will feel much more like a relief in years to come.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year whether you celebrate it or not…because if you live in the US it is not possible to escape these Christian traditions. I send these celebratory greetings to you in the spirit of what it felt like as a kid to me, that folks got nicer and made more effort with each other, and thought about their own and everyone’s happiness and felt compassion for others and wanted peace around the world. And I would like that to be every day.

I put this desire out into the universe and will continue toward it, and start with letting go of traditions that don’t work, and reflecting on my own needs and wants and actions. And I hope the same for everyone.

Sending love to you all and positive energy to our world. 💞💞💞💞